"The tragedy isn't in not reaching your goal. The tragedy is having no goal to reach."
You've cleared the space. Now it's time to plant something worth growing toward.
This is where you define your North Star—not as pressure, but as direction. Not as performance, but as possibility.
What "Plant New Seeds" Really Means
Step 3 isn't about creating a rigid five-year plan or a detailed roadmap with every step mapped out.
It's about creating a North Star—a direction you're moving toward.
Think of it like this: You're a ship that's been stuck in harbor (survival mode) or drifting without destination (no direction). Step 3 is about setting your course.
You don't need to know every wave you'll encounter. You don't need to know every adjustment you'll make.
You just need to know: I'm heading there.
And once you know that, your whole system—your mind, your energy, your choices—starts moving toward it.
In this step, you'll work through four parts:
WHAT you want — 5-6 goals that actually call to you (not what you should want)
WHY you want it — The deep, emotional reasons that make goals magnetic
PRIORITIZE — Choosing your ONE North Star (the goal that makes everything else easier)
INTERNALIZE — The 21-day visualization practice to become fully sure and deeply embody it
When you complete this step, you'll have clarity, direction, and a self-image that naturally moves you toward what you want.
What Happens If You Skip This Step
Without a North Star, every choice feels arbitrary.
Someone offers you a job—do you take it? You're not sure.
An opportunity shows up—do you pursue it? You're not sure.
Someone invites you into something—do you say yes? You're not sure.
You make decisions, but you have no sense of whether they're moving you toward anything meaningful.
You might end up somewhere interesting. But you'll probably just end up exhausted.
And here's what I've seen hundreds of times:
People who skip Step 3 and just "go with the flow" end up drifting. They're not stuck in the old pain anymore, but they're not moving toward anything either.
What Happens When You Do This Step Well
You stop drifting. You start sailing.
Choices become clearer. You ask: "Does this align with my North Star?"
You feel pulled forward (not pushed by fear, but pulled by something that calls to you).
Opportunities that align with your North Star start showing up—not because of magic, but because your brain is now primed to notice them.
And people who complete this step report:
Energy returning (goals energize instead of drain)
Clarity in decision-making
Feeling alive and purposeful for the first time in years
Natural motivation (not forcing themselves)
Gratitude even before achieving the goal
Because they're not just surviving anymore.
They have something to grow toward.
How to Plant Your North Star
Part 1: WHAT You Want
Write 5-6 goals that actually call to you. These can be professional, relational, financial, personal, or contribution-based.
Don't filter. Don't judge. Just write what feels alive.
Part 2: WHY You Want It
For each goal, write the deep reason why it matters. Not "I want success" (too vague), but "I want to prove to myself I can build something" or "I want work that helps people so my life feels meaningful."
The WHY is the fuel. Without it, goals are just checklist items. With it, they become magnetic.
Part 3: PRIORITIZE
You can't chase six goals at once. Rank them 1-6. Be ruthless—no ties.
Then ask: "What's the ONE goal that, if I achieved it, would make everything else easier?"
That's your North Star.
Part 4: INTERNALIZE (The 21-Day Practice)
This is the step most goal-setting approaches miss.
For 21 days, you'll visualize your North Star every morning and evening.
During those 21 days, three things happen:
You become fully sure this is what you actually want
You deeply internalize it (it becomes part of your self-image)
Your subconscious mind starts moving you toward it
By day 21, you'll either know with certainty "This is it" or you'll have valuable information to adjust and try again.
Why This Works: Dr. Maxwell Maltz and Psycho-Cybernetics
In the 1960s, plastic surgeon Dr. Maxwell Maltz discovered something remarkable:
Some patients would have successful surgery and their whole personality would transform. Others would have equally successful surgery—and nothing would change internally.
He realized: The outer change didn't matter if the inner image hadn't changed.
Maltz discovered that your brain works like a guided missile system. Give it a clear target—a vivid mental image of where you're going—and your subconscious mind will constantly adjust to move you toward it.
The key: Your brain doesn't know the difference between a vividly imagined experience and a real one.
When you visualize yourself living your North Star for 21 days—when you feel it in your body as if it's real—you're reprogramming your self-image.
And when the self-image changes, behavior follows naturally.
Not through willpower. Not through force.
Like the guided missile adjusting toward its target.
Get the complete Step 3 worksheet with the four-part process, prompts, and the 21-day tracking log.
This worksheet guides you through WHAT, WHY, PRIORITIZE, and INTERNALIZE with space for all your reflections.
This 12-minute guided practice walks you through building awareness and relationship with what you're carrying—without going into overwhelming territory.
Find a quiet space. Grab your journal. Press play.
In this 7-minute video, Manu explains why having direction (even if it evolves) is infinitely better than drifting—and how the 21-day practice rewires your self-image.
Your Daily Practice
(Morning & Evening)
Morning (10-15 minutes):
Preparation (2 min) — Sit comfortably, 5 deep breaths, let your body settle
Read your North Star aloud (1 min) — Write it on a card, read slowly
Meditation: Enter your future (5-7 min)
Close your eyes
Imagine yourself one year from now, living this North Star
See it vividly: Where are you? What are you doing? Who's around you?
Feel it in your body: Joy, peace, purpose, freedom—as if it's real NOW
Gratitude (1 min) — Say: "Thank you for allowing me to live this life"
Return and write (2 min) — What did you notice? What did you feel?
Evening (5 minutes):
Same process, shorter:
Read North Star
Visualize for 3 minutes
Feel gratitude
Sleep
Why 21 days?
Days 1-3: Feels awkward, maybe fake
Days 4-7: Starts feeling natural
Days 8-14: Things start shifting (ideas come, opportunities show up)
Days 15-21: New self-image settles in
Troubleshooting - Step 3 (Plant the Seed)
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ou've been in survival mode so long that wanting feels dangerous. Start small: "What would feel good? What would feel like relief?" You don't need your life purpose on day one.
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Wanting things for yourself isn't selfish. It's essential. You can't give from an empty cup. Your North Star can include service and contribution—but it also needs to include you.
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That's normal at first. Your system isn't used to imagining a future different from your past. Keep going. By day 7, it feels more real.
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You might. Goals don't always work out as planned. But having direction and adjusting course is infinitely better than drifting. The point isn't hitting the exact target—it's having something to move toward.
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Did you do Steps 1 and 2 first? Most people set goals while still carrying old burdens. Those goals become another way to prove themselves. But when you set goals AFTER clearing the weeds, they come from clarity, not desperation.
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That's okay. Goals can evolve. The North Star might stay the same while specific goals shift. This is normal and healthy.
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That's not failure—that's valuable information. Go back to your list. Maybe your #2 goal is actually your North Star. Adjust and start the 21 days again.
How to Know This Step Is Working
You'll notice:
✓ Energy returns — Goals energize you instead of draining you
✓ Choices become clearer — You know what aligns with your North Star and what doesn't
✓ You feel pulled forward — Not pushed by fear, but pulled by something that calls to you
✓ Resistance shows up — And that's good (we'll work with it in Step 4)
✓ Gratitude increases — Even before achieving the goal, you feel grateful for the direction
✓ You stop waiting — You're not waiting for someday; you're living into it now
✓ The journey feels worth it — Even hard parts feel meaningful because you know where you're going
✓ Opportunities appear — Things that align with your North Star start showing up
Ready for Step 4
(Strengthen the Roots)?
Once you've planted your North Star and started the 21-day practice, something interesting happens:
Resistance shows up.
Voices that say: "This won't work. You're not good enough. It's too late. Who do you think you are?"
That's when you're ready for Step 4.
Because Step 4 isn't about getting rid of the resistance—it's about understanding what it's protecting and helping it see you don't need that protection anymore.